Doctor, K.K. Null fucked up my hearing!

He really did. The bastard. It was the summer of 99'. Some freak who was into Whitehouse and shit like that asked me if I wanted to go. At the time I had no idea about "noise" music but I was familiar with K.K. Null's kick ass band Zenigeva. Although the dude was a bit of a creep I had nothing better to do so I went along. I'm drinking a 40 driving to the show in this guys beater and right as I finish he goes, "Get rid of that bottle". We're driving on the freeway so I tell him I'll pitch it when we get to the show. He grabs the bottle and tosses it out the window. Where it lands or who it hits I have no idea. Right then I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck did I just get myself into?".

We get to the show in some desolate area near downtown Columbus, Ohio. The venue is some fucked up art gallery and the admission at the door is $6.66. We go into this room where there are some chairs set up and I look at the 15 or so people there to see the show. One dude looks like he might nod off and die right there. There is a couple who look like they might kidnap and molest children for fun. I sit down with dude and wait. The opener is some laptop noise fuckery outfit in which a guy plays something made out of pvc pipe. It sucked. K.K. Null comes on with some old-ass analog contraption with a stick attached to the thing that he wiggled around and made sounds. The tones that came out of this machine were brutal and loud. I'm thinking to myself, "This little guy wants me to kick his ass, doesn't he?". I'm watching him to see if he is doing this to piss me off but he is sincere and totally into the fucked up sounds. So I decide that it is a test of wills. This fucker is not going to break me. I'm gritting my teeth and staring him down. It's a stalemate for about 40 minutes and then *POP*! Something in my right ear gives up. It was like when the devil laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet. I had lost. I left and sat in the parking lot waiting for the show to end. My right ear has never been the same since. Years ago I had a professor in a studio engineering class that described the same thing happening to him during a harmonica solo by Magic Dick at a J. Geils show. I guess hearing protection wasn't rock and roll enough for me then.


Here's a bit of Null for you. A different noise set-up but pretty harsh nonetheless:


I've gained an appreciation for the genre over the years but had I known what I was in for back then I would have brought a set of ear plugs. "Noise" wasn't a big enough clue for my dumb ass.